How NOT To Measure A Man’s Worth (1/24/13)
It’s 2013 and like clockwork, the vile feud-whore that is Douche Bag Washingturd, once again managed to slither out from his lair of bipolar misery to insult me with unfounded accusations; you know his routine: a noun, a verb and an HIV slur. Well, this time his minstrel routine of coonery & buffoonery had me thinking about the false sense of superiority he felt as a result of his alleging he has a negative status and claiming I don’t. I wanted to analyze why he thought his use of condoms (at least on camera) made him a better person than those of us who do not…. Instead of delving into these topics while arguing back and forth on Twitter, I opted for witty retorts and brutal smackdowns; besides a blog posts is the proper forum for more in depth commentary. 140 character is a recipe for reduction.
There is an inaccurately vicious, bullshit-laden myth about all porn stars being stupid people who come from broken homes and that we suffer from substance abuse, depression and we all have some sort of virus or disease. We are easy targets for those who want to talk about people that are “obviously” of lesser value. Conventional wisdom pushes this narrative that we are all egomaniacs who lack the capacity to have meaningful relationships because we are dead on the inside. Damaged goods. Even the normally cool Tina Fey & Amy Poehler took a few seconds to piss on porn stars while hosting the Golden Globes recently by insinuating that porn is a choice of last resorts:
The way most people on the condom side of the industry have responded to this myth is by using bareback porn as a scapegoat. Suddenly all of the bad elements of gay porn could be blamed on those of us who have decided to have sex on camera the way it was invented. It’s also a way for certain gay outlets to rationalize using porn stars to help draw attention to their events, well, I’m using a condom porn star, they are different, it’s acceptable. The same mentality is responsible for those escorts who somehow think they are better than or separate from street hookers & other prostitutes. I’m different, they are the problem, not me… And to that I give the same response I gave to the last escorting client who asked me for a discount:
Nowadays there are plenty of porn stars who use condoms (at least on camera) that run around spreading the myth about all bareback performers being suicidal virus-bots who do damage to the gay community. Apparently these misguided hypocrites aren’t aware that people will judge you for having sex on camera period, using a condom on camera will NOT save you from the haters or their hate…. but some of these girls still try it. I seriously doubt there’s a judge in the afterlife who will split hairs when it comes to condom versus bareback porn.
Anyone who clutches their pearls in shock at basic human behavior ( such as bareback sex) has no understanding of basic human behavior whatsoever. Here are some of my recent tweets on the matter:
Trying to measure my value as a person based on the kind of sex I have is stupid and will do you a disservice. Fucking without a condom doesn’t tell you anything about the kind of man I am. It gives you no insight into my mentality or my character and having bareback sex doesn’t necessarily mean one has an STI or STD. Every person you have ever met is the result of bareback sex,
minus a few test tube babies & white Jesus. I’m not understanding why gay men are thought to be broken-souled pariahs whenever we follow our natural sexual instincts and straight folks aren’t. Not all of this can be blamed on the opportunist in condom porn who want to bully bareback producers, models & shame bareback fans as a result of their own declining sales due to the popularity surge of raw content. Some of this can also be blamed on you viewers who watch condom-free videos & engage in bareback sex in private while shitting on the genre in public.
In the past, the absolute terror of the AIDS crisis managed to lessen the amount of bareback sex within the gay community, things have since returned to normal (yes, normal) as the health crisis in the U.S. has calmed some due to the advances in treatment and prevention.
All critical thinkers know most gay men, just like men in general, have sex without condoms. There are tons of gay men in committed relationships who have condom-less sex. Why a majority in my opinion, of gay men having unprotected sex is such a controversy is beyond me.
I know bareback sex isn’t the best national health policy. Neither is smoking cancer sticks, eating red meat or accusing Beyoncé of lip syncing at the 2013 inauguration in front of her BeyHive fan club members. Again, anyone who clutches their pearls in shock at basic human behavior has no understanding of human behavior.
By the way, haven’t you heard? Condoms are not the only solution, sero-sorting (sex with people of the same HIV status), regular HIV testing (it’s those who assume they are negative that do most of the HIV transmitting), and the soon to be released rectal microbicides (use your favorite search engine to look it up) are all viable options.
What we need to do is find a fucking cure because we are NEVER going to get the majority of humans to use barriers when having sex.
PS: In closing I will leave some stats I pulled from the Center For Disease Control’s website about the HIV transmission risk:
Different factors can increase or decrease transmission risk. For example, taking antiretroviral therapy (i.e., medicines for HIV infection) can reduce the risk of an HIV-infected person transmitting the infection to another by as much as 96%1. Consistent use of condoms reduces the risk of getting or transmitting HIV by about 80%2. Conversely, having a sexually transmitted infection or a high level of HIV virus in the blood (which happens in early and late-stage infection) may increase transmission risk.
At the end of the day this means that you have a lesser chance of contracting HIV while having condom-less sex with someone who is HIV positive and has a low viral rate and takes their medicine than you do having condom sex with someone who isn’t aware of or honest about their positive HIV status and high viral load. Basically, HIV positive people who have undetectable viral loads have less than a 4% chance of transmitting HIV during no condom sex while having condoms sex with an advanced stager is super duper risky by carrying a 20% chance of transmission …. At this point, condom users have no good reason to run around feeling like they are better than barebackers.